A Warm Welcome

A Warm Welcome - humor story

The Story-teller : ” Humor me..”

 

‘aah..hope dad ain’t mad over my communication past year’, sighed Ankit.

Holding this thought for a second, he then knocked on that big-black familiar door of his home. It read ‘flat no. 28 – Sharma’s Residence’.

He hadn’t seen home for a while, reading the name plate thrilled him. He planned this trip out of the blue and tried best to keep this a surprise visit. He was worried over his fiance’s reaction to his secret plan and then jumped over pondering about his parent’s joy on his visit. Before he could smile and knock, door’s latch made a cranky sound and it opened to the inside.

There Stood a big black man attired in a grey suit, holding the door knob. Sneaking a view through the half opened door unveiled a crowdy gathering and loud party music.

Stumped to the event, he took off his earphones and spoke ,

“Is there some party going on??” asked Ankit to the bouncer (the door man).

“yes sir! it’s a ‘home welcoming party to Mr.Sharma’s only Son”, said the bouncer.

“Huh! But I din’t say anything about my arrival ,then How come?”,surprised Ankit tried to step inside the hall.

The bouncer stopped him, “sir! may I see your invitation”,he requested.

“WHAT!! you’re gonna ask me invitation to my own house?,I am Ankit! Ankit Sharma! The SON!!”.he said loudly, ridiculing the stupidity of his question.

“and I am sure sir! you have your invitation!”, replied bouncer, much calmly.

After few verbal exchanges, Ankit showed his ID but it din’t impress the gate man.

A long fussy debate got over with a bribe of 1000 Rs and ankit finally walked inside the hall.

He murmured  ,“ Damn man! money to enter your own home, what stupid crooked security, am gonna make him apologize by night”

he placed his bag beside the door, as asked by the bouncer. Then he took one of the slippers from shoe rack and placed his travelling shoes in place. He started moving around, scanning this loud and crowdy room. He sees his father at farther end of hall. He waves to his father who waved back with a smile.

Sanguinely, he pushed through the drunk and dancing crowd, got some red wine spilled on his white shirt.

Ignoring the spill, “Hey Dad! Surprise!! I am home! ”,he rejoiced.

However, his facial efforts kept accentuating and he started looking un-natural and uncomfortable to the passive reaction of his father.

“Hey buddy! Any confusions? Must be Ankit’s friend right? you should meet my son Ankit! He’s standing next  to the Dj control! change your shirt dear! It stinks with wine spill!”,said Mr. Sharma, who then waved at another guy and left.

Ankit got stupefied to this bizarre response and stood blank for a moment. Something hit him in the head, as if either he travelled in time machine or suffered a brain wreck. Not thinking further, he looked around for the DJ control, to find this other Ankit.

He got desperate and pushed hard through the crowd. However, his physique didn’t agree to his anger, got tripped over and broke his glasses.

“Damn! These people must be really happy for my return! They are celebrating and wrecking  all over me”, he murmured.

he started crawling on the floor and finally reached the DJ control with mighty efforts. A man helped him to get up,

“hi! I am Ankit! I just came back from states, nice welcoming party, isn’t it?!.

And you’re..?” ,said the DJ.

“ ummm.. i.. am.. Ank..Ankit too, never mind”,said Ankit, now feeling insulated to this stupid scenario.

“oh! You must have been a friend of dad, never seen you before, a distant relative, are you??”,he said, lowering the sound of speaker.

“what the hell man! This is my home! Who are you and what is goin on..”,Ankit erupted with anger.

The man at DJ asked him more questions-he  questioned his identity, his job, his relations in india and added royally to his frustration. Further, adding worsely to Ankit’s annoyance- the DJ man would lower the volume while asking questions and increase it while Ankit would try answering any of them.

he (dj man) laughed at him,again and again and again..

“Hey man! I can’t make any sense of you! I guess the music is too loud! Why don’t u change that stinky shirt and wear a t-shirt from the many lying at sofa!”,said the DJ with a naughty grin.

“Strange deejay guy ,must be stoned on weed or something,everyone is effing stoned, am gonna scold everyone after the party”, said  patience god Ankit.

He then readily moved towards the entrance door, only to find his bag missing.

“Hey man! Where’s my bag,it had lot of clothing and gifts inside”, asked Ankit to the bouncer.

The bouncer din’t care to engage in any dialogues with him. Ankit too wasn’t planning to piss off the big guy. He shook his head in irritation and finally picked up one of the t-shirts from the sofa and changed.

He then moved around to search for his mother. Meanwhile, a man in crowd shouted to catch his attention, “Hey! Boy! Get me another drink and some snacks, will you”.

Trying to gratify himself as the party host , Ankit took the man’s glass and moved to the kitchen, “Rude guests! Where did the self service go man! Indians need pampering, always!!”

“hey mom! Thank god you’re here”, he looked left to his shoulder and smiled.

The old lady smiled, she nodded and intimated him that she can’t hear him.

He got agitated and shouted again,

“hey mom! Thank god I found you. surprise! I am home!!”,again putting lot of efforts in facial expressions.

The lady took a pencil and wrote on paper, ‘Nice to meet you son.I can’t hear,I am temporarily deaf!’.

”oh!! what happened Mom”,asked worried Ankit.

She wrote again-‘You must be one of my husband’s  associates, he  has pulled off a great deal in first quarter  and  he is celebrating with this nice party, isn’t that great!’,she smiled.

He lost the conversation at that very note and got completely out of his mind, “WHAT the hell is going here!”,he yelled.

He moved out of kitchen, crawled around the wall’s corners, trying to reach the DJ’s desk. He got stumbled at one of the mirrors, only to find out that he was wearing a t-shirt that read-‘gladly at your service! ‘King’s kitchen’.

“what the hell man! i ain’t a bloody waiter here!”,he shrugged furiously.

Having had enough of party, he stormed to the DJ floor, took one big speaker and broke it pieces.

The whole crowd looked shock and awe. They stared at him for a moment, then each one in the room took out their giant headphones and disc players, plugged in and started dancing like crazy. They were literally mocking ankit and celebrating over his frustration.

He looked around with a whacko face, his mouth was wide-open. He madly looked at each one of them and shouted- “mad house!! MAD HOUSE ,MADD HOUSEE ,I AM LEAVING”

Instantly, a man pushed him to the centre, where his father stood with his cousin brother and fiancé,

“the DJ is my brother, it was my idea to give you a sweet dose of reminiscence”, winked his fiancé.

“Never lie to your fiancé sweety and never leave your mail box open, I saw your bookings a week back”, tongue in cheek, she smiled.

“yes, and you must keep in touch regularly, or we will throw you more surprises” , laughed all-  his father ,mother and his cousins.

“Okay! Okay!  I am sorry, I know I know, but please don’t give me such train wrecks”, sheepishly smiled an apologetic Ankit.

Everyone burst into laughter and joined in to cut the cake which read-

Surprise!!! ,If you want to evade one-KEEP IN TOUCH!! 😉

yours loving,

family & friends”.

Ankit understood everything and said – “ohhh!!! And it makes sense too, wow! hahah”

and the whole place burst into another laughter.

“Yes! I promise, I will take out more time out of my busy schedule”,said a sincere Ankit with smile.

“ if you din’t notice,you couldn’t have made it more classy! you  chose your surprise visit on 1st of april. I am sure it’s by default of-course,

aah..you’re so forgetful and clueless sometimes sweety”, smiled and winked his fiance.

She then blew the cake candles with him and then the actual welcoming party started. This party was pretty warm.

 

 

A Warm Welcome - Humor

A Warm Welcome – Humor Story

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A Dog Day Journey

A dog day journey - humor story

”  humor me..”

Vincent opened car’s door & seated himself in back seat, in right middle. He felt a strong vibe of déjà-vu in this closed space. It smelled really funny inside that car, something very organic and ripe. It wasn’t probably the best idea to travel with his girlfriends’ family.

The front two seats were owned by her parents and last three were occupied by– baba a crying baby, Nancy his girlfriend & rob the elder brother. Rob or rather angry rob, was looking forward to his confrontation with this new traveller. He recently found out about their love affair. Vincent squeezed himself in middle, alongside the teeth grinding-eyeballing brother and obnoxious crying baby, who kept dropping saliva on Vincent’s pants.

Fifteen minutes passed, Vincent broke his silence and enquired the girls’ father, as to why the car was bumping so much. Father explained that the car needed a long due servicing which can only be done after this trip. Vincent being tallest kept hitting the car’s roof like a percussion instrument.

Few Minutes later, they heard a crying voice from car’s trunk. A quarrel of commentary erupted –  “I told u not to..”, “it wasn’t best idea..”, “see I knew it ..”, broke loud inside the car with baby crying again in response. Father stopped the car and took out the dog- a big eyed German shepherd from back trunk and they took it inside the car.

Now dog being inside, Vincent was trying to close his feet to its growls and threats. Meanwhile hitting his head to car’s roof, he thought-

“Damn this dog! No wonder the car smelled funny earlier!”

He overheard a conversation about how dog’s weight was balancing the bad shockers of car and how the ride will now get rougher. Vincent was flabbergasted to the eccentric ideas of family, bumping his head harder and harder to roof, his thoughts got vigorous,

“Damn you Scooby doo! This Flintstone car sucks man!”, he frowned and stared at the dog. The Dog stared back like he read his mind. It expressed his disgust for Vincent by dropping more saliva on his feet.

Vincent whistled and snagged the dog’s tail, looked in another direction unknowingly. The dog got irritated and barked at the baby! .The baby started crying and dog’s mouth got shut, overwhelmed to baba’s high octave sound.  Vincent enjoyed his notoriety with a silent-wicked laughter. The elder brother caught his crap, stared at him with angry eyes & grinding teeth.

The parents asked rob to exchange position with Vincent and keep the dog calm. Vincent was totally flustered by this unsettling nonsense but was still happy to exchange positions. He opened the right window to gasp for fresh air. He looked at Nancy; she was asleep – calm & uncaring to this minor chaos.

The road started turning right and as if, “the stone age monsters were throwing bad luck to this Flintstones car”, thought Vincent.

The elder brother’s eyes lit with mischief and he started pushing Vincent to the door with every centrifuging turn. After a torture of fifteen minutes, family stopped for lunch.

Half hour later they started back en-route. Vincent resumed his war by grabbing the middle seat and started pushing elder brother to the right. However, both looked straight making no eye contact or uttering any words of frustration.

“It’s a mind game, I will win it!” thought Vincent and grinned.

With Vincent’s head still bumping, the scores were finally tied. Complacent Vincent exchanged positions with sleeping Nancy. Vincent dropped the glass and looked out the left window to change his war mood to happy mood.

Smelly dog was now seated in front seat, his snout stuck out of front window gasping for fresh air. He closed the window and baba started crying, he opened it and the dog’s saliva rained on his face. He was stuck oscillating in this unfortunate loop.

Off with frustration and head bumps, he beseeched around for a cushion. His desperate scooping got lucky and he got hold of something that apparently looked to suffice. He got hold of a cotton stuffed thing from back seat and put on his head to prevent from bumping, it dripped!!

“damn-shit it’s the baby’s wet huggies, filled with pee”, Vincent was disgusted. The elder brother chuckled and baby started laughing.

“I will kill you Scooby-doo! Said Vincent.

Now concentrating! With his tongue stuck out to left, aiming sharp nail pins on car’s front tire. Ten tries and finally it hit! With ‘whushhh’ sound it blasted and car stopped. Vincent took a knife and cut chords on suitcases that were placed atop, bound to carrier. He decided to sit above; on car’s roof .It was appreciated by majority of the family – the chuckling brother, the smelly dog and laughing baby. However, Nancy stood indisposed and abstained from her opinion, deep in slumber she lay snoring the entire time. He finally rest atop, gasped for peace and looked above in the Clear sky-

“Damn! It’s enough for the day, some other time”, he thought.

*end*

thanks for reading.

regards.

By : Vishu Mishra